I Wanna Be Your Drill Instructor
by PaperHat
Summary: McGee is going undercover at OCS, but first of all he must learn to march like a marine. Thank goodness he has his buddies to help him get prepared.
1. McGee is going undercover

Authors Note: If some of the OCS/USMC references are inaccurate it's because I've used my imagination...**

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**I WANNA BE YOUR DRILL INSTRUCTOR**

**CHAPTER ONE - MCGEE IS GOING UNDERCOVER**

The decision on the surface had not been a difficult one it clearly had to be Tim McGee. He was the right age and had the right hair cut for starters. He was the one chosen to go undercover during the graduation ceremony of the new marine officers at the Officer Candidate School in Quantico. Director Jenny Shepherd had been very clear in her briefing to the team,

"We are sure that the reason for the threat is the fact that the son of Senator John Carroll is graduating and there are a lot of people who would be quite happy for the Senator's day of celebration to be ruined with tragic consequences"

DiNozzo frowned and opened his mouth slowly,

"and….Senator John Carroll is….the Senator responsible…….for….."

"Two words DiNozzo" Gibbs said firmly,

"Boss…that's not nice….I only asked a question….there's no need to tell me to fu..OWCH!"

"Guantanamo! Bay!"

Tony winced and rubbed the back of his head, "Ok…got it….Guantanamo Bay"

As McGee and Kate smirked, Gibbs put the record of the Senator's son Officer Candidate Taylor John Carroll onto the plasma screen and continued the briefing,

"TJ Carroll has already been targeted with some written threats, but has not been told of the plans that we've intercepted for his Graduation Parade and Ceremony. We need someone at the Ceremony on his six at all times from the time they arrive at the parade ground. McGee you are the best choice for this job and will be going undercover to graduate alongside Carroll"

Tim beamed, "I get to put on a uniform?"

Gibbs nodded. Kate rolled her eyes. DiNozzo pouted…big style. Jenny Shepherd continued,

"Agent McGee, all you need to do is take part in the Parade and then the formal Ceremony afterwards, make sure that no one gets close to Carroll to make a move. You need to report anything suspicious. You'll be in constant communication with the team in position around the grounds and feeding directly to MTAC if any does go wrong"

"Understood Director" McGee added seriously.

With the briefing over, Kate and Tony headed back to the bullpen to start their preparations whilst Gibbs shouldered McGee towards the elevator heading for the garage.


	2. Probie needs the practice

**I WANNA BE YOUR DRILL INSTRUCTOR**

**CHAPTER TWO - PROBIE NEEDS THE PRACTICE!**

"It's no use boss, I just can't get it!" Tim whined.

"You were just not trying hard enough McGee, it's not exactly rocket science; you just need to get into the rhythm"

McGee and Agent Gibbs entered the bullpen, it had been two hours since the briefing with Director Shepherd and both Kate and Tony were getting concerned.

"What's up with you guys?" asked Kate.

"Officer Candidate McGee is having a little trouble with his drill moves to be able to participate in the parade" Gibbs growled glaring at Tim.

Tony walked over to Gibb's desk, "C'mon Probie, how hard can it be, I mean left, right, left, right, you've been walking since you were a baby, it shouldn't be that difficult"

McGee whacked his hand out and hit him square in the stomach.

"Hey!" squealed Tony

"It's not that easy Tony, it's not just like walking!" Tim protested

Kate smirked, "Well, Tony, if you think it's that easy, you should help McGee practice. He can learn from DiNozzo…..the master of the drill square!"

Gibbs rose from his desk, "Agent Todd, I think that is an excellent idea. Tony, lower level parking lot 1300 hours today!"

"Fine!" glared Tony, "as long as Kate has to do it too"

"You in for some drill practice Agent Todd? You did look good in that marine uniform a few weeks ago, perhaps you could learn some of the moves to go along with it?" Gibbs asked.

"Well yeah, I've never done anything like that before….but if it will help Tim, I'm in!"

"Excellent!" Gibbs replied

"Uh..who's going to be the drill instructor?" Kate added

Gibbs grinned, "me!" he said and smirked.

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_Find out how the 'practice' went on in chapter three..._


	3. Lunchtime Boot Camp

**I WANNA BE YOUR DRILL INSTRUCTOR**

**CHAPTER ****THREE - LUNCHTIME BOOT CAMP**

At 1300 hours the whole team were in the parking lot waiting for Gibbs.

"Where is the big guy, he's normally on time?"

At that Agent Gibbs slammed the door of the parking lot open and strode in.

"Fall in!" he yelled.

There was panic and confusion.

"Get in line!" Gibbs continued to yell.

"Wow, talk about getting into character, he's like that mental guy from Full Metal Jacket!" Tony whispered.

Gibbs strode over to him and stood toe to toe eyeballing him, "What did you say DiNozzo?"

"I hope I can hack it…boss!" Tony gulped.

Kate giggled, and Gibbs scowled at her.

"Form a straight line...DiNozzo, McGee and Todd…in that order"

The team shifted places and stood to attention.

"First command, 'Ten-Hut' you stand to attention, hands in grip formation, thumbs pointing down the seam of your pants." Gibbs walked up and down the line.

"Ten-hut" he yelled.

Snapping to attention, Gibbs inspected each of their stances.

"Good work McGee….get your back straight DiNozzo….eyes forward Agent Todd"

"Ok, we are now going to turn left to the command 'left wheel' and then begin to march forward on the command 'forward march' starting with the left foot…everyone got that?"

Everyone nodded.

"I can't hear you?" said Gibbs sarcastically

"Yeah, we got you, you're not going deaf as well as blind now are you boss?" Tony beamed.

The stare which met Tony, signaled that his head was in very real danger,

"The correct answer is 'Yes Sargent Instructor Gunnery Sargent Gibbs'; we are supposed to be helping McGee get acclimatized for being undercover at a Marine Corps base, not a night club!"

"Yes Sargent , Sargent , Sargent Gibbs….Gunny!" giggled Kate. Gibbs glowered at her.

"Uhm, yes Instructor Sargent Gibbs Gunny….uh…Gunnery..Sargent …boss" McGee stammered.

"Oh dear God, it's not that difficult….YES! SARGENT INSTRUCTOR GUNNERY SARGENT GIBBS!" he yelled.

"Now everybody try….does everyone know what we are doing next?"

"Yes Sargent Instructor Gunnery Sargent Gibbs!" they all barked in unison.

"Left wheel" Gibbs barked in response.

Kate spun perfectly to the left. McGee went the wrong way and Tony started to march forward.

Gibbs placed both hands over his face, "I'm so glad I was an MP and not a DI….DiNozzo!"

"Let's try that again….Fall In!"

The team returned to their original positions.

"Left wheel" Gibbs barked again and squinted his eyes in the hope that when he refocused they would have gotten it right.

"Good work guys, remember, left foot forward….FORWARD MARCH!" he shouted.

"WOW! Halt, stop….McGee, it's your left foot forward. Tony, get your hands out of your pockets"

"Yes boss….I mean Sargent Instructor, Sargent Gunnery type person…boss"

Gibbs groaned and rolled his eyes to the ceiling and wondered why he had ever agreed to do this in the first place.

"Ok, one more time. Get into left wheel position….forward march!"

"Left, left, left, right, left" Gibbs called out the rhythm, which he continued to clap out.

The team were doing well until they came to the wall and Kate stopped and they walked into each other, DiNozzo falling over McGee after stopping so abruptly.

Gibbs placed his cap over his face and groaned heavily.

"TEN HUT!" he yelled, straining his throat.

Through the giggles, Kate, Tony and Tim managed to get in formation again. Gibbs cell phone rang and as he snapped it open he held up his hand,

"At ease!"

Tony saluted weakly and Gibbs scowled before answering his phone.

"That's who Gibbs reminds me of!"

"Explain DiNozzo" Kate said as she massaged her shoulder,

"Captain Von Trapp, I'm surprised he hasn't got a whistle instead of clapping like a sea lion"

"Everything is a movie to you isn't it Tony!"

Tony snapped to attention and then briskly stepped one pace forward and then back,

"I'm Anthony, I'm 32 and I sooooo need a Governess…rowr!"

Kate giggled and the took her turn to step forward,

"I'm Kate, I'm 21 and I'm insatiable……..what does 'insatiable' mean?"

Tony beamed and raised his eyebrows, "I think it means you don't want to be treated like a nun"

McGee, who had been listening quietly, decided to participate, and stepped forward and back,

"I'm Tim, I went to MIT and I like writing"

As he beamed waiting for a response, Tony and Kate glanced at one another and then slapped him upside the head,

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You've never even seen the Sound of Music have you Probie?"

"Yes, I have in fact I think Julie Andrews is…."

"FALL IN!" Gibbs barked interrupting the debate.

After an hour of left wheels and forward marches, Gibbs was still drilling them and yelling at them to get it right.

"Gibbs, my feet and shoulders hurt, can we stop this now?" Kate asked.

"No Agent Todd, I'm not about to give up on you all. You will march in formation even if we are doing this till midnight." growled Gibbs. Kate moaned and rolled her eyes.

"But boss, we are not marines or anything like that…its McGee that needs the practice, can't we cut class a little early…huh boss…Gunnery Sargent ….pleeeaasse?" protested Tony.

Gibbs sighed, this was a battle the ex-gunny knew he was seriously losing.

"Ok..class dismissed…until lunchtime tomorrow!"

The team groaned.

"Sorry guys" McGee whispered.

"It's ok Probie" answered Tony and winked at McGee "while Gibbs has us fooling around in the parking lot, we get out of doing all that paperwork that's upstairs waiting for us"

Kate also winked at him, "besides, you can see it gives Gibbs a little 'Jarhead' kick and makes him happy thinking we're his raw recruits, this is like all his Christmases rolled into one"

"You mean, you guys have been playing up deliberately?" gasped McGee.

"Probie, I went to Military School….I could do drill in my sleep!" whispered Tony. "actually I did sometimes, but that's another story"

"If Gibbs finds out you two have been faking it, he is gonna kill you!"

"We'll just have to make sure he doesn't find out" Kate responded with a smile.

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_Does the boss find out? Quick march to Chapter Four...LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT..._


	4. Never mess with a Marine

**I WANNA BE YOUR DRILL INSTRUCTOR**

**CHAPTER ****FOUR - NEVER MESS WITH A MARINE**

The next day, they had gathered in the parking lot at 1300 hours. Gibbs strolled in a minute later and they got in line after he had yelled at them to 'fall in'. He started them off with a left wheel and forward march and they began marching perfectly in a square in the parking lot.

"Wow, I'm impressed guys, keep up the good work." Gibbs commented in surprise.

"Platoon….haaaalt!" he yelled.

McGee came to halt perfectly, DiNozzo kept his foot in the air and then Kate stumbled and fell in a heap laughing.

"I guess Kate and I need a little more work on the stopping part boss!" smirked Tony.

Gibbs walked over slowly and grabbed Kate's arm firmly and brought her sharply to her feet. He eyeballed Tony and spoke quietly and deliberately,

"I would have thought that would have been second nature to you Tony, considering your academic background was spent at military school…"

He then eyeballed Kate, who gulped and started to bite her bottom lip,

"…and considering your time in the school marching band Agent Todd"

Kate and Tony turned a shade of pale and Gibbs turned to McGee,

"McGee, you are dismissed from practice; I don't think you'll have any problems with the Parade on Friday. You need to head over to Quantico for a briefing and a uniform. Don't expect us back in the office. We are going to be here a long, long time, getting this perfected" he said firmly as he stared coldly at Tony and Kate.

Tim sighed with relief and left the parking lot.

"You two….drop and give me twenty….that will limber you up for the rest of the afternoon"

Kate and Tony hit the deck and started doing the push ups, after the fifth one, Gibbs barked,

"I don't hear them being counted out…..start again!"

"One, two, three…" they responded in unison.

When they had finished they got in line again, out of breath and nervous.

"We are going to march all afternoon around this parking lot. We are not going to take any breaks. Anyone who complains or speaks will be desk bound for a month doing the paper work which you two have been avoiding up until now….do you understand"

"Yes Sargent Instructor, Gunnery Sargent Gibbs!" came back the response.

At 1800 hours, Kate and Tony, pale and exhausted, limped back to the bullpen and sat down and slumped across their desks groaning. They ached all over and their feet hurt like hell.

Gibbs sat down at his desk and smirked at them, that was what he considered 'The Few, The Proud….His Team'.

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End file.
